When anxious or depressed, our minds become soothsayers, predicting the future with perceived certainty but little precision. We also lose the power to reason rationally, instead letting our emotions take over: simply because we think it, we assume it to be true. Continue reading »
Stephen Rainbow had been with his partner Greg for over a decade when he lost him to cancer. ““A counsellor once said to me, ‘are you ready to let Greg go?’” he remembers. “I said absolutely not. I don’t know why I need to, and I don’t feel I want to, and I have no intention of letting him go at this stage.” Continue reading »
Be assertive and gentle enough to recognise when to stop arguing. Recognise when you’ve been drawn into an unproductive conversation – or when you’ve started one yourself – and take a raincheck on it. Agree to return to the topic at another time. Continue reading »
You know what the worst thing about being single on Valentine’s Day is? It’s not the public declarations of love on Facebook by your partnered friends (how could I possibly feel spiteful because of their happiness?), it’s the well-meaning advice. Continue reading »
Ivan Yeo was given the lowdown on sexual racism when he first arrived in New Zealand. A friend told him. “Unless you’re white, young, blonde, then you’ll be the top line of meat,” he laughs. “Being Asian is down in the food chain, and he said I’d most likely end up with an older white male.” Continue reading »
We value long-term relationships highly, but how often we do this out of status anxiety rather than a desire for happiness? It seems there’s a default belief that it’s simply better to be in a relationship than not in one. Is it time for a dash of emotional independence? Continue reading »
Well, that time of the year has come where I stop talking for a while (yes it does happen occasionally). This blog has now been running for two years, and the audience has more than tripled since this time last year. Thank you all for continuing to read these ramblings and share them about the … Continue reading »
I can remember being asked by one patronising bitch who thought she was being funny, ‘who’s gonna wear the dress’ when she heard I was getting married. This was over ten years ago, when civil unions were just a twinkle in a politician’s eye and gay union ceremonies were not commonplace at all. But for … Continue reading »
In the documentary “The Celluloid Closet”, gay actor and writer Harvey Fierstein talks about growing up watching mainstream Hollywood films, and how he had to ‘translate’ them in order to make them more relevant to him as a gay viewer. After all, in a celluloid world that made gays and lesbians completely invisible unless they … Continue reading »
“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” ― Marilyn Monroe One of Marilyn Monroe’s best-remembered and most- beloved quotes. She certainly … Continue reading »
