End of chapter 2

Posted on November 30, 2012 by Christopher Banks • 1 Comment

Well, that time of the year has come where I stop talking for a while (yes it does happen occasionally). This blog has now been running for two years, and the audience has more than tripled since this time last year. Thank you all for continuing to read these ramblings and share them about the … Continue reading »

anxiety / bereavement / depression / medication / recovery

Help me make it through the night

Posted on November 8, 2012 by Christopher Banks • 5 Comments

Up at six. Back home at six. No energy. Fighting sleep all afternoon, despite sleeping all through the night. Hands shaking from too much coffee. Depressed about being lethargically depressed, I go straight to bed. I know this fog will lift eventually, but first I must get through the night. My mind, which has been … Continue reading »

bipolar / gay / medication / mental illness / wellbeing

Finding the best doctor for your mental health

Posted on September 10, 2012 by Christopher Banks • 8 Comments

The issue of who to trust when it comes to looking after your mental health is an ongoing one. Every week I hear from guys who are having a crap time on meds, and either are stuck with a doctor who won’t listen to their concerns or they feel unable to speak up for themselves. … Continue reading »

anxiety / depression / exercise / medication / mental illness / mindfulness / music / wellbeing

Running in the rain

Posted on August 9, 2012 by Christopher Banks • 6 Comments

It was just after midday when the anger hit me. I’d been to see my counselor Lyndon that morning, and we’d been talking a lot about endings. I’m in a transitionary phase of my life at the moment, with a lot of changes. Lyndon asked me how I dealt with endings. I didn’t describe it … Continue reading »

discrimination / gay / homophobia / medication / politics / religion / violence

Stop talking about gun control, and start controlling the guns

Posted on July 22, 2012 by Christopher Banks • 5 Comments

I’d like to think, for the safety of everyone within a hundred-mile radius of me, in the unlikely event I decided to go on a shooting spree that the means to carry out such a nihilistic plan of destruction would not be readily available to me. In many parts of the United States, this would … Continue reading »

alcohol / bipolar / friends and family / gay / gay bear / medication / recovery / self-stigma

On meds since age ten

Posted on July 20, 2012 by Christopher Banks • 3 Comments

Paul Bowman says that talking openly about his bipolar disorder is like a second coming out. At 48, it’s something that he’s only begun to do recently, which is a long time to keep a secret when you’ve been taking medication since your tenth birthday. Paul was a late arrival into his family, with his … Continue reading »

alcohol / bipolar / depression / medication / mental illness / psychology / recovery

Let’s make you happy, but not too happy

Posted on July 15, 2012 by Christopher Banks • 6 Comments

Is exploring the brain’s potential to help us lead better lives through chemistry such a bad thing? Why should one need a clinical diagnosis of a mental disorder to ingest ‘happy pills’? Should we need an excuse to be happy? Continue reading »

anxiety / medication / sex

A series of unfortunate side effects

Posted on July 12, 2012 by Christopher Banks • 26 Comments

The human body is less like a car and more like a cake. We can’t remove faulty brains and replace them, so we’re left with the option of altering the recipe and screwing with the ingredients. Continue reading »

bipolar / depression / gay / HIV/AIDS / medication / mental illness

The non-smoking room

Posted on June 3, 2012 by Christopher Banks • 1 Comment

One of my favourite episodes of the exquisite British sitcom The Smoking Room is “Quitters”, where the disparate habitants of the eponymous workplace smoking room have to sit through a patronizing anti-smoking lecture led by a man dressed as a giant cigarette. The product of gay writer Brian Dooley, and starring a host of British … Continue reading »

bear / bipolar / discrimination / exercise / gay / gay bear / HIV/AIDS / medication / mindfulness / recovery / wellbeing

Carry On Up The Appalachian

Posted on May 27, 2012 by Christopher Banks • 6 Comments

May 21, 2012 20.4 mile day in 10.5 hours. Stopped at Cripple Creek for lunch, which made for a relaxing meal by a lovely miniature waterfall. We are so close to Waynesboro we can hardly stand it. That’s a typical diary entry for 44-year-old Ross Hayduk, who is currently halfway through a six-month hike up … Continue reading »

Bipolar Bear

Health, humour and advice for gay and bisexual men with experience of mental illness

Category Archives: medication